The Journal of an Honest Mom

Four kids in five years.

I haven’t had much “me” time in a while.

Now, before anybody starts feeling bad for me, let me explain.

While some days are hard, it is never bad.

I’m a stay-at-home mom. We homeschool. So… I’m never really alone.

If I’m in the kitchen cooking, they’re there playing with the magnets on the refrigerator.

If I’m cleaning bedrooms, they’re there with a pile of books.

If I go outside, they’re outside.

If I need to use the bathroom… girl, I don’t know why, but they somehow end up there too.

There just isn’t much “me” time anymore.

There’s mostly “we” time.

I mean… I don’t really know what I expected. That is what happens when you have four kids in five years. 😂

Is that hard?

Yep.

Is it frustrating?

Sometimes.

Is it overwhelming? Especially as an introvert who doesn’t love physical touch?

Absolutely.

I know what you’re probably thinking.

“You picked the wrong career.”

Or…

Or ask how I ended up with four kids if I really like my personal space.

Fair enough.

But if motherhood has taught me anything, it’s this:

Motherhood is one of the many ways God chisels away at our selfishness.

And chiseling hurts.

Of course I want an hour by myself sometimes.

Of course I enjoy a quiet house.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

But just because I don’t get those moments doesn’t mean my children deserve the version of me that’s short-tempered, impatient, or irritated.

That’s the part God has been working on in me.

Not because He expects perfection.

But because He’s still shaping me.

The more I think about it, the more I realize this season isn’t forever.

One day these little feet won’t follow me into every room.

One day nobody will interrupt me while I’m folding laundry.

One day I’ll probably wonder why the house is so quiet.

This season of life is short-lived.

And maybe that’s why God uses it.

To prepare us for whatever comes next.

So today…

I’ll hug my littles.

I’ll try to knock something off my to-do list.

I’ll probably answer “Mom?” about a hundred times.

Then…

I’ll simply take another breath.