The Journal of an Honest Mom

Do you ever find yourself missing the child you never got to hold?
The one you never got to talk to. The one you’ll never get to watch grow up. The one you’ll never know on this side of eternity.
I know God works all things together for good. I know that child is with Him, in a place far better than this world. I believe those things with my whole heart.
But sometimes those truths don’t erase the sting of loss.
Your mind wanders to all the “what ifs.”
What if I had done something differently during pregnancy?
What if my other children had gotten to meet this baby?
What if this baby had made it earthside?
I think those questions are a natural part of grieving. They don’t necessarily mean you lack faith. They mean you loved someone you never got the chance to know.
Grief is important. It deserves to be acknowledged, not ignored.
But it’s also important to keep living while carrying that grief. Sometimes healing doesn’t mean the grief disappears. Sometimes it simply means learning to carry it differently.
This side of heaven, some losses become part of our story. We don’t move on from them so much as we move forward with them, trusting that one day faith will become sight, and what was lost for a time will be found forever.